Thursday, June 18, 2026

bear resting in our oak tree

 11:15  our bear has been up in the tree for about two hours now.  Bela saw him climbing up during breakfast.  I went to pick up the rental car and later took stuff to the dump.  Bright and breezy after heavy rains all through the night.   

250 "this one being oscillated all night long "  "Infinite oscillation of love between the soul and God" 251

got four or five videos of the bear climbing up and climbing down the oak tree  

255 I love this triangular intersection more than the world.  "Silent awe and loud exclamation."

it is the soul's journey into the interior of the soul, her soul 

299 she wanted to ask the oracle, without actually posing the question 

the great war, the true one: the war with yourself 

301  she saw each person as someone special in his uniqueness, in his personal light, his nimbus

309  The ability to perform wonders while standing outside oneself, and furthermore seldom being understood, even by those closest to one: that was powerful.  

289 Walking along blind to find her way out of the labyrinth.  Eyes closed to see whether behind her lids that old reliable writing scrolled by.  

[missed some pages yesterday because after the eye appointment I tried to read with dilated eyes the rest of the afternoon and evening and I read some but didn't really get most of what my eyes were passing over]   super bright red lights scanning my eyes to check on macular stuff, that wrinkle at the edge of one eye, in spite of these clouds and spots of yellow in the red, told my vision was excellent amazingly so and all was well, is still well ]  

super heavy gray day, heavy rains earlier, heavier rains on the way, heavy dark greys, nearly all lights on in the house, touch of heat from the splits, back to st john's wort so see if it helps get from june to january

Handke was 29 when his mother killed herself at age 51 by taking an overdose of sleeping pills in 1971, November 19th.  

317  How his cheekbones gleamed.  How his apron billowed around his hips

318  We stateless people, here and today rid of the state, beyond the reach of the state.  All the rest turned into sects--states and churches---and . . . And we?  Time refugees, heroes of escape. We without a role, while the state folks stick to their role, steadfastly. We the eternally daunted undaunted.  The eternal hesitators and delayers. 

320 I don't want to know anything now.  The mother is responsible for resources.  And the father? For places.  

321  But better illegal than the legal crooks all over the world.  The sects everywhere.   . . . The more you get lost, the more you experience.  

what she had experienced in the three days of her journey into the interior of the country, and how every hour had been dramatic, even if nothing happened,  and how every moment something had been at stake

one bright summery strand in her dark hair: strange.  Or not strange after all?  No, strange.  Still strange.  Eternally strange.  

12:34 pm  wow  what a chill, a thrill, such perfection and nothingness else  over finished complete adam and eve brings us by a  riverun past eve and adam's brings us by a ?? recurrence hmm on our rings these 57 years but now can't recall the circle  have to google even that !!  "riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodious vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs."  forget that stateish baloney  Handke walks away from all that sectarian stateness, gets much more lost and finds much more, much more strange  wander further into the strange, away from all circles, backwards out of even spirals And yet that eternal stuff is there, strange 

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