Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Monday 30th

 Bela's hip has given out, in some pain with it.  Rested in bed earlier.  Made it to the table for lunch, in the blue recliner all afternoon, both took long naps.  Almost 5 now.  

Finished Handke's mushroom essay.  He says his essays are as slow as a milk train near dawn.  

page 135 would type out the long paragraph.   Fit my needs earlier when I was ordering toilet supplies and fearing what might be next.  

Shakespeare "so consciousness doth make maniacs of us all"  

embrace taking things as they came, laissez-faire, not interfering

at every moment, horrifyingly and ceaselessly aware---instead of letting things go, leaving welll enough alone

well these words had more resonance in the terror of the moment earlier---is this it? will Bela be bedridden from now on?  

one rose on each of our rose bushes, red in front, pink in the back 

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