Phil This is a mistake. Keep your townhouse AND move into Sunrise as soon as possible. You need to get help on
all of this now, sooner, rather than later, when it might be too late. Keep the townhouse as security locker, storage unit.
Move only what you need to get into Sunrise, bed, dresser, a few chairs and a table.
Hire some helpers to go back and forth. Hire people to be with you two days a week. If you continue to dillydally
on these things it will be too late and you'll end up walking along a road some where no idea who you are or where.
Send me $500. each time I answer an email from you. I am terrified we will have to deal with much more loss of Va's
memory and bodily functions and our money will run out. We have a few hundred thousand between us and social s.
You have 5 million. You can hire five people to help you for two years and the portfolio would not show a dent.
Give me your nephew's email address so we can keep him in this loop of getting you assistance.
We talk with Virginia's cardiologist in two weeks to see what can be done about her aortic stenosis. She walks almost
not at all now. All wheelchairs. She can stand to pivot and get dressed. Toilet. I worry all the time that we will
need much more hired help in the near future. I pay a couple $160. each time they clean house, every two weeks.
I pay a woman $160. once a week to take her swimming.
Too much information. But what can we do?
love, Bob
my all oatmeal diet yesterday dropped the scale 3 pounds this morning! woo hoo
Phil did reply but has not sent me $500.00
Have already set up a system with my nephew: daily phone calls and bi-weekly visits. May move into Sunrise Senior Center and keep the house – at least for while. So I’ve got that covered
I have no idea of how to buy and arrange the assistance that you mention.
Am also shutting down all contributions to charities because I have no idea how much money I may need in the future.
Hope you can work out some service for VA that you can afford.
Let’s keep in touch.
Phil
-----
well, my morning anger and request for money has sharpened Phil's memory and response. Thank goodness I now know his nephew is taking care of him; a daily phone call and biweekly visits. So I no longer need to worry about Phil.
Hermann Berger, a write I can read a page or two a morning and that is enough. Clever and brainy to a fault but not my companion even in love and death. Oh, on X I learned that Bataille's beautiful wife married Lacan!!! so little I know about everything, anything. Sylvia was an actress, married Lacan in 1953. So Berger is one of these brainy chess players, all mental, all thought involved, prestidigitation, card shuffling, con artistry, performance and play-acting, capes and cloaks and curtains and tuxedos with hundreds of secret pockets. I remember going through a short phase of trying to learn to do magic tricks. did I get a magic set for christmas or birthday? yes. was instantly disappointed in it, not interested in trying to work the tricks. I liked seeing magic tricks somewhere (on tv?) but I didn't want to learn to do them to others. Was that the same with the charlie mccarthy doll? I loved seeing Bergman and Charlie talking with each other on the howdy doody show but I didn't have much success or interest really in getting my voice to throw over into the limp and lame dummy on my knee. The big doll's head with red molded hair and moving fixed grin smile. Animation as extension of my own body's action did not see magical at all. The hunger for the companion and conversation, yes.
Onward to another collection of essays by Andrzej Stasiuk, Fado. "Come sunset, you set out, let's say, due south. . . . you can try and come to terms with the perverse abundance of matter, the pornographic immodesty of history, which is lying on its back beyond every curve and over every hill; but ultimately it all turns out to be futile, because we remain alone with the space, which is the oldest of all things." Fado `1 brilliant opening paragraph
14 "the cosmic void, the abyss of memory."
John got another clarifying response from Phil
Phil, have you looked at or into any senior living places with larger apartments?
E.g., like this one in Bethesda: Maplewood Park Place
If I move into a facility it’s because I think I will soon need some management for my declining memory. So Sunrise meets that requirement. I may check out Mapleweed but it’s in Bethesda and that usually means everything there is at least twice or three times as expensive as the same thing in Gaithersburg. Also I no longer care about social life and activities. These days I just want – or possibly need - to avoid dealing with all the ongoing daily crap – especially shopping for things and food - in life……Phil
paragraph successful trip to Royal Nails; Mason did the hands no feet at this time until blister beginning clears Sleepless in Seattle last night Nora Ephron's finest perhaps or
was that When Harry Met Sally ? Cary Grant in An Affair to Remember tonight, thanks to Sleepless
John later chimed in sounding much more reasonable and making suggestions to Phil. I can't quite track his advice about the money but it makes me wonder if Rick is going to invoke some four percent guideline.
"PhiI,
I hope you do look into Maplewood (not Mapleweed!). They do have memory care, it appears, as well as 2- and even 3-bedroom units. And I hope you won't let money dictate more than it should--keeping in mind that our retirement funds generally increase rather than shrink over the long haul, assuming one is not withdrawing more than 4% (some would say a bit more) a year.. (And if we're not around for the long haul, it doesn't matter if the total is going down.) As we get older, I can't see any reason not to withdraw even more than 4%, unless, as they say, our goal is to be the richest person in the graveyard. (I have to think more conservatively with Kate's longer life expectancy in mind, so no sports roadster this year..)
Bob,
I'm sorry to hear about Virginia's stenosis, the attendant limitations, and your concerns. Will the cardiologist visit involve discussing the viability of valve replacement?
Please keep us posted.
All best,
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